Life is so filled with twists and turns that you never see coming, and every ‘substantial’ leap is a weight of trade offs.
You must give something up to have anything at all. That sucks.
I mean, mostly because the end result of every trade justifies it, so we never really know which to let down and which to grab and latch on to.
At times I sit and think of the complexities of this consciousness called LIFE, and I just don’t know for real, for real.
We can never be certain about anything, and all the lessons we’ve learnt(or believe we do) of how not to act or live, were actually mostly genuine risks, that well meaning people took; a bet that never paid.
I can look back at my life in hindsight, and say I don’t regret dropping out of school, but that’s because I was fortunate and relentless enough to game it out, or at least I’m still trying to.
If I failed, everybody that expected me to not turn out fine, would have a reference to show to kids, why they have to follow the program.
So what matters in this life is the end result.
One man will take a risk and fail – he’s sure a fool.
Another will do something more risky, and if it works miraculously, he’s a sage, a genius.
It’s all a lottery of probabilities stacked on probabilities, and we can never say for sure that it’s our capabilities, nor can we say it’s seer luck.
BUT. Very big but, there’s no certainty for anything.
The uncertainties and the understanding that we might not even get the promise, and the upside of the bet, even when we do everything right, even when we’re supposed to win, is something that weighs so much on my heart.
I know the finality of death.
I know that dreams and the hope for a better life, the investments in trading off what we set aside for the promise not yet seen, can all fall in a second.
So when I see a promise, I’m always skeptical.
I should believe, and believe and work and toil.
Because there’s a guarantee that I will be rewarded in due time.
But I’ve seen people do all these and never got to experience that promise.
I know that this life can be taken at anytime, and I really want to see the edges I can afford myself, because I’m just a piece of clay again.
That’s my I always say “Memento Mori”
I remind myself that I have finite time, and the timing is not controlled by my plans or my wishes.
I can die while planning to do something.
It’s the reality of life, the truth, that death is the biggest enemy.
So maybe I’ll always choose the bet that puts me out in the open moments and shifts me to the edges.
I will embrace the uncertainties, because in reality nothing is guaranteed.
Kash ❤️